In 2006, critics jumped up and down on Pixar Studios, who up until then had been producing films that none but the most curmudgeonly critics could possibly dislike, for finally coming up with a film that fell well below their established standard of quality, Cars. The single biggest criticism leveled against Cars was how derivative the storyline was, something unthinkable for a company like Pixar which was quite renowned by then for its strikingly original storytelling. References, and unfavorable comparisons to Michael Caton-Jones' 1991 film Doc Hollywood starring Michael J. Fox, were frequent.
Pretty much the same can be said for its sequel, Cars 2 which, even though it bears only a passing resemblance to the 1997 film The Man Who Knew Too Little starring Bill Murray, leans on so many narrative cliches, from the "whodunit" that isn't really a "whodunit" at all, to the Bond-esque turns, to the heavy-handed "be yourself" preaching that it takes the narrative larceny of the first movie to another level altogether.
The sequel, which brings us back to Pixar's world of anthropomorphic automobiles, begins with confrontation on an oil rig between British spy car Finn McMissile (Michael Caine) and a bunch of what appear to be lemons like Pacers and Gremlins other clunkers led by a bespectacled German scientist (Thomas Krestchmann, playing a car wearing a monocle and a comb-over if one can believe that). McMissile escapes, having taken pictures of a device that could be used for highly nefarious ends.
Lightning McQueen (Owen Wilson) the hero of the first movie, arrives home to Radiator Springs after having won his fourth Piston Cup and spends quality time with his buddy Mater (Larry the Cable Guy) and tries to spend some quality time with his girlfriend Sally (Bonnie Hunt) when Mater, who poses as a waiter at the restaurant where McQueen and Sally are having their date, ends up getting into a televised debate over the phone with Italian Formula race car Francesco Bernoulli (John Turturro) as to who the best racer in the world is. This little verbal tussle ends with McQueen agreeing to enter the first ever World Grand Prix, sponsored by Miles Axlerod (Eddie Izzard) inventor of Allinol, a revolutionary alternative fuel which will be used to power all of the contestants in the series, which will be staged in three different countries around the world and participated in by the best racers from around the world, including Bernoulli and racing heroes such as Jeff Gorvette (Jeff Gordon) and Lewis Hamilton (played by himself).
McQueen brings Mater with him, but Mater, quintessential hayseed that he is, manages to make a complete fool of himself in the company of the race cars from all over the world, and by extension of McQueen too. When McQueen loses one of the races due to a miscommunication with Mater, however, he loses his temper with him as well, causing Mater to slink off dejectedly.
What none of the racers know is that the the shadowy figures from whom McMissile narrowly escaped at the beginning of the movie have nasty plans for all the participants which McMissile and his assistant, Holly Shiftwell (Emily Mortimer), must stop. First, however, they must rendezvous with an American spy (Bruce Campbell, in a regrettably brief appearance) who has taken photographs essential to their identifying the mastermind of the sinister plot. The agent is caught, however, and in a moment of desperation he plants his information on Mater's underchassis while the both of them are in the men's room (or the boy car's room, whichever is more appropriate). McMissile and Shiftwell, who've never met their contact, rely on their tracking instrument and believe it's Mater, who finds himself, for reasons he doesn't understand, a target for the people out to ruin the race. The sabotage has already begun, with the lemons pointing what looks to be an ordinary television camera at the racecars and causing their engines, specifically the Allinol coursing through them, to explode. The plot is to turn off the public from using alternative fuels. McMissile and Shiftwell then get Mater out of harm's way and between the three of them they try to figure out how to get to the bottom of the sabotage. Time is of the essence too, as McQueen, who declares that he will continue to use Allinol, is targeted for destruction at the last race in London.
Now, this being a Disney movie, at no point did I ever believe Lightning McQueen was in danger, and at no point did I doubt who the mysterious head bad guy of the story was. As far as the latter was concerned, I had no choice as the story presented no alternative suspects. So in terms of thrills and mysteries the movie was a complete zero for me. Moreover, the "spy" angle, while enjoyable for as long as Michael Caine was onscreen, was played with next to none of the panache with which, over half a decade ago, Brad Bird directed The Incredibles, which I maintain is infinitely more deserving of a sequel than the first Cars film was.
I get that from a narrative perspective it wasn't possible to do Cars all over again. How many times could Lightning McQueen learn the value of humility, selflessness and small-town values, after all? Unlike the many existential crises that beset the characters of the Toy Story films, which really provide a fascinating look into the human psyche when one thinks about it, there wasn't anything new left about McQueen to tell. One would think that Pixar, seeing the narrative dead-end, would have then focused their efforts on something fresh, like their upcoming Brave feature which was teased just before the movie. Instead, they mined old material for spy and mystery movie cliches in the apparent hope of replicating the eight billion dollar payday they scored with the merchandise from the first Cars movie. So what's the big message here? Apparently that boorish Mater shouldn't bother to be culturally sensitive and that people should adapt to him and not the other way around. Quite a nice message to send to kids in an era where Americans have, up until recently, been viewed by the rest of the world as oblivious to anything and everything that goes on outside of their borders. This is the kind of drivel I might expect from Dreamworks or any of Pixar's less pedigreed rivals in the animation industry, but not from them.
The film certainly has its moments; its beautifully realized cityscapes provided a radical but welcome departure from the Route-66-inspired vistas of the first film, with races that take place in Tokyo, London and a fictional city in Italy, Porto Corsa, which has more in common with the legendary Monaco Grand Prix circuit than with any actual, real-life Italian grand prix circuit. These were truly a feast for the eyes, and I'm glad I didn't catch the film in 3-D, which is notorious for darkening the appearance of the picture; I'm glad I didn't miss out on any of that fantastic detailing.
Also, Finn McMissile, while an obvious James Bond takeoff, was one of the few highlights of the film. Caine has done spy-inspired work before in the Austin Powers movies, but at least here there was less buffoonery to speak of, and in any case Caine really makes the character fun to watch. Talking about the spy-movie texture of the film, though, I was annoyed by how many cars met their "manufacturer" in this film in order to preserve the faint "Bond" vibe. The film was quite violent considering how benign the previous film was, NASCAR-style car pileups and all. In that, this movie was a much clumsier take on the action-thriller than The Incredibles and to be honest, it did not, at least in my book, make a very compelling argument for its own existence when the end of The Incredibles very deliberately set the characters up for further adventures.
Probably the best part of this movie was the Toy Story short that came before it, which was pretty funny, but seeing how the featured characters were Barbie and Ken, who are made by Mattel, who made the Cars diecast toys that earned eight billion dollars, I'm pretty sure the people laughing hardest are Mattel...all the way to the bank.
Cars 2 is a film I'm sure kids will enjoy, but to the adults who have grown used to Pixar's uniquely textured and nuanced storytelling, all I can say is, brace yourselves.
Rating: 2/5
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