Cotton Candy for Gen-Xers and Their Kids: A Review of the Super Mario Brothers Movie

 directed by Aaron Horvath and Michael Jelenic

written by Matthew Fogel

As a direct result of the disastrous 1993 live-action adaptation of the Super Mario Brothers game, it would be nearly thirty years before Nintendo ever let Hollywood near any of its properties, let alone the jewel in its crown.  That has finally changed with the release of The Super Mario Brothers, a new animated film produced by the money-printing juggernaut that is Illumination Studios.

Mario (Chris Pratt) and Luigi (Charlie Day) are Brooklyn-based plumbers who have just quit their jobs with Spike (Sebastian Maniscalco) much to the disapproval of their father Giuseppe (Charles Martinent) and the derision of other family members. When their first gig as self-employed plumbers goes awry, Mario is downcast, but when he sees a plumbing crisis on the news, he rushes Luigi there in the hopes of fixing it and boosting their business, only to find themselves sucked into a mysterious portal down in the sewers all the way to a whole new world, a magical but terrifying world in which the evil King of the Koopas, Bowser (Jack Black) wishes to marry Princess Peach (Anya Taylor-Joy) of the Mushroom Kingdom and is willing to destroy her kingdom and a whole bunch of others in the world if she doesn't consent.  Mario and Luigi are separated on the way here, with Mario ending up in the Mushroom Kingdom and Luigi ending up Bowser's territory. Mario asks for help from Peach, who in turn needs to enlist the Kong army if she hopes to defeat Bowser.

The movie is very much a love letter to the wildly popular video game series that started back in the 1980s, with references galore to them, so many that even I, who have barely played the games, got more than one reference. It's also, with its bright colors, broad humor and fast-paced (90 minutes) storytelling that really doesn't stand up to any measure of scrutiny, the perfect example of Illumination's tried-and-tested kid-bait.  It's a fun movie that sets very simple goals for itself and accomplishes them with a little bit of flourish but really, nothing more than that. Chris Pratt and Charlie Day are well cast as the title characters, and even though the script gives them next to nothing to work with they really give it their best. The same can be said for supporting players like Jack Black, Anya-Taylor Joy, Keegan Michael Key who plays Toad and Seth Rogen who plays Donkey Kong. To be fair, nobody is phoning it in here, but with a script as devoid of any substance as this, how could they have screwed it up?

While this was a fun movie in its own right, people really shouldn't wonder why critics and awards giving bodies continue to keep animation as a medium of cinematic storytelling stuck in a ghetto  considering how Illumination studios has dominated the box office in the post-pandemic era with stories like this which barely even bother with basic things like character development or even a meaningful story.  I mean, this is a studio that built its fortune on tiny people who speak gibberish so I guess this is the most we can expect from them.  

People cheering for the success of this movie and the box-office failure of outfits like Disney may not realize it but when the market is later flooded with brain-dead video game adaptations, they may come to miss the kind of movies that Pixar or even Dreamworks used to offer like Inside Out or How to Train Your Dragon.  Granted, Disney has only itself to blame for losing its way recently, but really, audiences should demand better than this. 

By now, the film has made over a billion dollars at the global box-office so we should really expect more of the same of this in three years or so and another two or three years after that...at least until the audience gets tired of consuming what is essentially the equivalent of cinematic cotton candy. 

7/10

 

Falling Into Place: A Review of Tetris

 directed by Jon S. Baird

written by Noah Pink

Right about now, people around the world are going bananas over the latest big-screen adaptation of Nintendo's "Super Mario Brothers" game.  Perhaps lesser-known, however, is another story involving a different game that Nintendo made famous on its first-ever handheld platform, the Gameboy, namely Tetris.  

The film Tetris isn't about anthropomorphic blocks seeking their purpose in life. Rather, it's about how struggling Dutch-American businessman Henk Rogers (played in the film by Taron Egerton) upon learning of the existence of this obscure but utterly addictive game went all the way to Soviet Russia to secure the rights to publish and distribute the game, roping in no less than video game giant Nintendo in his scheme. In his quest to secure the rights, he deals with Russian bureaucrats Trifonov (Oleg Shtefanko) and Belikov (Igor Grabuzov) and their goons, a corrupt English magnate Robert Maxwell (Roger Allam) and his irritating son Kevin (Anthony Boyle) as well as an underhanded wheeler-dealer Robert Stein (Toby Jones).  Not only that, but the creator of the game Alexey Pajitnov (Nikita Efremov) wants nothing to do with him. 

So certain is Henk of the mass appeal of Tetris that he has literally bet his home on it, taking out a lone with his Tokyo apartment as collateral, much to the consternation of his wife (Ayane Nagabuchi).  His dealings behind the iron curtain hit quite a few setbacks, and Henk gets threatened, beaten up and given the run-around so many times that it's kind of a wonder that the heads of Nintendo in America (Ken Yamamura and Ben Miles) even want to deal with him.  Will he prevail?

I often enjoy movies based on true stories, even those that take considerable liberties with historical events. This film is overtly light-hearted and comedic in its general tone, but at the same time the undercurrent of menace remains ever present, as well as the tension that accompanies Rogers' race to secure the rights before Maxwell and Stein. It's a given that there was a lot of embellishment here, but winning performances by Egerton and Efremov as Rogers and Pajitnov basically sell the story, even when Shtefanko's corrupt Trifonov threatens to derail the fun with his cartoonish villainy. Heck, even the bad guys, most of whom are fictional (except the Maxwell father-and-son duo) are fun to watch, with Allam (and his massive prosthetics), Boyle and Jones providing some excellent antagonists whose faces you really would want to punch. 

One challenge to enjoying films based a true story, especially a success story, is suspending disbelief considering that I already know how things turn out, but this movie still managed to engage me for its relatively short running time. About the only thing that had me rolling my eyes towards  the end was an entirely fictional car chase to the airport that looked like it had been ripped straight out of Argo, but set as it was to a Russian-language cover of the Bonnie Tyler hit "Holding Out for a Hero" and stylized with pixellated 80s graphics, it still managed to entertain.    

I'd be shocked if this were up for any serious awards about a year from now, but it was a genuinely fun watch. 

7.5/10

2023's Biggest Surprise (So Far): A Review of Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

 directed by Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daley

written by Goldstein, Daley, Michael Gilio, and Chris McKay

Twenty-three years after the first-ever film adaptation of the beloved Dungeons and Dragons role-playing game opened to terrible reviews and dismal box office, Paramount Pictures is now unleashing an all-new, big budget adaptation with a new cast of characters, a lively script packed with Easter Eggs, and a Marvel movie's worth of computer-generated effects. The result is...surprisingly good.

The film begins with buddies and partners in crime Edgin Darvis (Chris Pine) and Holga Kilgore (Michelle Rodriguez) busting out of prison during their parole hearing.  We learn that they landed in prison after a heist that they were staging with Edgin's partner Forge Fitzwilliam (Hugh Grant) and a sorcerer Simon Aumar (Justice Smith) went terribly wrong. They had been sent by the mysterious Sofina (Daisy Head) to steal a mysterious artifact from the Harpers, a sort of society of protectors to whom Edgin used to belong before his wife Zia (Georgia Landers) was killed by the dreaded Red Wizards. In fact, Edgin had only agreed to this particular heist to get a magical tablet with which to bring his Zia back. Edgin and Holga discover that Forge has somehow become Lord of a town called Neverwinter, with Sofina close by as his adviser and Edgin's daughter Kira (Chloe Coleman) now living under Forge's care. It turns out their imprisonment wasn't exactly an accident, and now Edgin and Holga determine that they need to both rescue Kira and get the tablet back from Forge. They'll need help, so they track down Simon, who in turn recruits the shapeshifting Doric (Sophia Lillis), and they approach the paladin Xenk (Rege Jean Page) who leads them to a magic artifact they'll need in their quest. Will it be enough to help them prevail? 

Full disclosure: I am not a D & D geek by any stretch of the imagination. I played the game once or twice as a kid with my cousin who had a couple of the basic books, and only sporadically watched the 1980s cartoon that ran in the mid-80s.  I also admired the iconic artwork by artist Larry Elmore whose name D & D fans will surely recognize instantly. I knew next to nothing, in short, about the source material, and I had caught some of the risible 2000 movie on cable TV, so that kept my expectations to an absolute minimum.

I was not expecting to have nearly as good a time as I did. This movie is a blast. 

 Writer-directors Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daley, who comprised half of the quartet of screenwriters behind Spider-Man: Homecoming, have done a great job of creating a world that is both accessible to outsiders like me and a real treat for those with some inside knowledge.  They've crafted a story that is easy to follow and populated it with likeable, deeply flawed characters whose story arcs help ground the film, even in its most fantastical moments.  Their storytelling is rock-solid, and it helps that they have a surprisingly good eye for staging some pretty kick-ass action sequences. 

It helps that they are working with a truly stellar cast. As the bard Edgin, Pine effortlessly brings in the roguish charm that he shot him to stardom in J.J. Abrams' Star Trek movies, and considering that starship appears to have sailed it appears he may have a new home here. As the barbarian Holga, Michelle Rodriguez, a veteran of multiple action franchises, brings serious action chops as expected, but also lends a surprising amount of heart to her character.    As the bumbling Simon who wrestles with his own insecurities as the latest in a long line of sorcerers, Justice Smith does a commendable job fleshing out his character's arc.  Sophia Lillis may not have the strongest character moments as Doric the druid, but she definitely has strong screen presence, and thanks to some pretty solid VFX works she delivers quite a few of the movie's moneyshots, including a "oner" that really showcases her abilities. Hugh Grant, who's garnered attention lately for his curmudgeonly attitude on the red carpet, is well and truly having a blast here as the villainous and hilarious Forge, a welcome foil to the super serious arch-villain of the story, Daisy Head's Sofina. Rege Jean Page cuts a fine figure as an action hero (with an awesome fight scene to boot), but perhaps more importantly, as a straight man who basically sets up the jokes for the rest of the cast to knock out of the park.  All told, this is an acting ensemble that really works well together.

The filmmakers have been pretty open about their influences, naming The Princess Bride and the Indiana Jones movies as among their main ones, and to be fair they really have captured the proper blend of humor, charm and action from movies like that, and yes, from the earlier Marvel movies as well.  The Marvel references, if I'm honest, seem quite overt in Doric in particular, who quite honestly looks like she was designed as an homage to Black Widow, and who also manifests quite a bit of Hulk very, very late in the film (no spoilers here).  The good news, though, is that as fashionable as it is to hate Marvel nowadays, D & D: HAT takes what used to be good about those movies and puts it to very good use, including, dare I say it, the computer-generated imagery, which is used rather judiciously here. So yes, it is a bit derivative and unapologetically so, but at least it makes its borrowed elements work really well. 

Time will tell if this movie gets a sequel, but speaking for myself, I'd be happy to take another roll of that 20-sided dice with these folks. 

8.5/10

Bigger Than Ever: A Review of John Wick 4

 directed by Chad Stahelski

written by Shay Hatten and Michael Finch

The action saga that kicked off in 2014 when a retired hitman avenged his the killing of his dog and the theft of his car by murdering an entire Russian crime family has returned with easily its biggest installment yet. 

John Wick (Keanu Reeves) is still on the run, having been marked for death by the High Table of assassins over two films ago, but this time he's decided to take the fight to the High Table with the intent of killing them all, with the help of his allies, the Bowery King (Laurence Fishburne), Winston (Ian McShane) the manager of the New York Continental Hotel, and Charon (the late  Lance Reddick), the concierge of the Continental.  The High Table isn't messing around, though; they've tasked a powerful new player, the Marquis Vincent de Gramont (Bill Skarsgaard) to oversee Wick's elimination. Gramont is a canny player, and to get the job done he Caine (Donnie Yen), an old ally of Wick who also happens to owe the High Table big.  Of course, he also summons a huge army of lethal killers with guns and body armor to the do job, too. No place is safe now, not even the Continental hotel in Japan which is run by Wick's old friend Koji (Hiroyuki Sanada) and his daughter Akira (Rina Sawayama).  Another wildcard in the mix it the mysterious, nameless tracker (Shamier Anderson) a freelance bounty hunter who seeks to drive the bounty for Wick up as high as it can go before killing him.  In short, it all appears to be coming to a head.

Full disclosure: I didn't like John Wick 3: Parabellum, because in my opinion the fight sequences got repetitive after a while. There was every danger of that happening here, especially given the film's nearly three-hour running time, but I persisted because I have followed this franchise pretty faithfully since I saw the first one on DVD years ago.  

I'm happy to report however, that with the exception of the film's first big battle in the Japanese branch of the hotel Continental, which featured a lot of the jiu-jitsu-and-headshot choreography that had been a staple of the first three films, this film really takes its fight sequences to a whole new level, managing to devote generous screen time to every single one of the high=profile action stars it has added to the John Wick family, whether it's Donnie Yen, Hiroyuki Sanada or Scott Adkins who puts on a fat suit, and gold-plated dentures to play German hitman Killa.  Yen features most prominently here and nearly steals the show from Reeves with his killer moves and quippy humor, but make no mistake, this is still John Wick's movie, and Reeves is absolutely firing on all cylinders here to bring us the most extreme stunts we could possibly get without Jackie Chan or Tom Cruise showing up. Heck, I'd say Reeves is on par with them after this film.   

Director Chad Stahelski seriously switches things up here, and not just in terms of fight choreography and blocking. The guy has an extraordinary eye for beauty, which he effectively juxtaposes against the extreme violence, and with the story taking John and his pursuers all over the world, from Morocco to Japan to Germany and finally to France, he has ample opportunity to give the audience some real money shots, and boy, oh boy does he deliver. This bodes extremely well for the adaptation of the wildly popular video game Ghost of Tsushima that Stahelski is currently slated to direct. 

Do I have any problems with this movie? Well, as I said, it is rather long, though the time taken to set up the action is pretty well-spent. I had issues with the first major battle sequence, but just about everything after that played out excellently. 

At at a time when it's hard to find movies that feel fresh and exciting in view of the endless onslaught of franchises, it's refreshing that at least one of them manages to get it right. 

8.5/10

10 Thoughts on the Oscars

 So another year of Academy Awards has come and gone (a week ago, as of writing), and at the very outset I'd like to state that in my humble opinion, all of the winners deserved what they got. I found it to be a very satisfying ceremony with heartfelt speeches and lots of feel-good moments, and, just as notably, none of the moments of eye-roll inducing stupidity that left a stain on ceremonies of the last few years like the 2017 "envelope mix-up" or the idiocy of having the Best Leading Actor Oscar announced last in 2021.  

I think everything I have to say about the 2023 Oscars can be distilled in ten points:

1.  I'm just glad to have watched it live for the first time in ages. As early as 2019, there was some strange issue with the channels available to me on cable and for whatever reason a live broadcast just wasn't in the cards. That was a shame because that was Marvel Studios' banner year, with the first Black Panther movie garnering six Oscar nominations, including the history-making Best Picture nomination. From 2020 to 2022, I no longer had cable television so I had to content myself with live updates on websites. It was nice to finally be able to watch the ceremony in real time again. Thank you, Disney+

2.   I LOVE that this was the year of the "has-beens." After the 2022 Oscars, in which Best Leading Actor winner Will Smith showed himself to be the embodiment of privilege by publicly assaulting Oscar host Chris Rock, it was such a welcome change to see actors whom time and circumstance have humbled reaping rewards that they richly deserved. I haven't seen Darren Aronofsky's The Whale, but I have read all about Brendan Fraser's journey in making it, and as a fan of Brendan Fraser all the way back to his Mummy days I was really delighted to see him pick up the Oscar for Best Leading Actor. I was even happier for Ke Huy Quan whom I had only ever seen as a child actor in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, who had been away from acting for much longer than Fraser ever had. His comeback, even without the Oscar, would have been the feel-good story of the year, but now it's simply perfection, and he couldn't have had a better vehicle than the sensational film Everything, Everywhere, All at Once (which I HAVE seen...and loved). Speaking of which... 

3.   It was so nice to have a horse in the race again. The last time I could really and wholeheartedly say that was in 2013 when I was rooting for Argo to win (which it did). I mean, I've enjoyed films like Parasite, 1917, BlackkKlansman and, Black Panther among other Oscar Best Picture winners and hopefuls, but Argo was a good, old-fashioned thriller which, for all of its foibles, had loads of charm and told its story very well.  Even though Everything, Everywhere All at Once is a completely different kind of film from Argo, I loved it just the same for almost the same reason: it told its story masterfully, in a way that both charmed me and connected with me. I also cheered for the Telugu language, global sensation RRR when its Oscar-nominated song, "Naatu Naatu" took home the gold.  It feels really good to have an actual emotional connection to the movies that win. That said...

4.  Here's a statistic I find unsettling: the widely despised 2016 DC superhero film Suicide Squad has more Oscars than the 2023 Best Picture nominees Elvis, Tar, The Banshees of Inisherin, The Fabelmans, and Triangle of Sadness COMBINED.   I'd argue that this was an inevitable consequence of expanding the field of Best Picture nominees from 5 pictures back in 2009. Between them, Everything, Everywhere All at Once  and All Quiet on the Western Front, won 11 Oscars, so there was barely anything else left to win.  A whopping 50% of the films nominated for the Best Picture Oscar went home empty-handed.  I know that's the way the cookie crumbles sometimes, but I still can't help but feel for the people who poured their heart and soul into those movies.  

5. I loved seeing all the fresh faces. I loved that among so many of the major nominations, from directing to about all of the acting nominations, there were many first time nominees, or people who had rarely been nominated before. About the only familiar face among the nominees was two-time Oscar winner Cate Blanchett, who ultimately lost to Michelle Yeoh.  This is the kind of freshness that, in my humble opinion, will help keep the Oscars relevant in the years to come so long may it continue. On that point...

6.  Diversity is not the poison pill that narrow-minded people insist that it is.  One would be hard-pressed, for example to find anyone who was unhappy when "Naatu Naatu" won the Oscar for Best Original Song. "Diversity" meant that for the first time in 95 years, a song from an Indian movie could win an Oscar, because it forced Academy voters to step out of their comfort zones and look at other movies. It also meant that performances like Michelle Yeoh's and Ke Huy Quan's performances in what is effectively a "genre film" like EEAAO, which would have had Oscar voters turning their noses up not that long ago, could win big.  

7.  No high-and-mighty speeches from winners is a really good thing. There's not much more to add, lest I become guilty of making a speech myself. 

8. Hollywood's love affair with itself was tempered this year. Steven Spielberg's film, The Fabelmans was an early favorite and it kind of fit the mold of films like Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, The Artist and Argo which basically celebrated Hollywood and won one award or another. The shut-out of The Fabelmans from even a single award, to me at least, says that Hollywood is ready to stop fellating itself, at least for now.  

9.  As highlighted by Guillermo del Toro in his acceptance speech for Pinocchio, animation remains in a ghetto just outside "cinema" and that's just wrong. 

Finally...

10.  Though All Quiet on the Western Front would have been a deserving Best Picture winner, I am very grateful that the Oscar for Best Picture went to a movie that spent several months exclusively in movie theaters. Everything, Everywhere All at Once has once again proved that the best place to appreciate cinema is still in movie theaters.

John Wick Meets Mr. Incredible: A Review of Nobody

 directed by Ilya Naishuller

written by Derek Kolstad

This is a movie we never got in theaters here in the Philippines; at the time of its global release, March 2021, we were still under strict lockdown. I'm grateful, then, that nearly two years after it came out in theaters, we finally got it on Netflix. 

Hutch Mansell (Bob Odenkirk) is living the American dream; he has a nice house in suburbia, he's married to a successful realtor (Connie Nielsen) with whom he has two lovely children (Gage Munroe and Paisley Cadorath), and he has a stable (if boring) job as a bookkeeper in his father-in-law's factory. One night, his home is broken into by two desperate burglars, whom Hutch actually lets go, but when he discovers his daughter's toy missing, something inside him is set off and a part of him that he has long kept hidden comes exploding to the surface. He tracks the burglars down, but when he learns their true circumstances, he knows he cannot take his revenge on them.  On the bus ride home, a Russian mobster and his mates hop on the bus and start harassing people, and all hell breaks loose, in more ways than one.  To help him out of the mess he finds himself in, Hutch may need help from his brother Harry (RZA) and his dad David (Christopher Lloyd).

As I wrote in the title, this movie, written by John Wick screenwriter Derek Kolstad, essentially takes the premise of the Keanu Reeves-led film about an assassin who comes out of retirement because some Russian mobster kills the dog his late wife gave him and tweaks it a bit to make the assassin a bored suburban dad yearning for the days when he was kicking ass and taking names. Kolstad basically turns John Wick into Bob Parr aka Mr. Incredible, only instead of superhuman strength he has an assassin's consummate skill. Instead of a Russian killing a puppy, the film has a Russian thug and his gang harass a bus full of passengers.  Instead of John Wick coming reluctantly out of retirement to right a wrong, Hutch basically yearns to beat the crap out of people (who deserve it) and basically jumps on the first pretext to do so.  

The action is realized with the brutality and effective choreography of a John Wick movie, and it's all the more effective because of how convincingly Odenkirk plays the mild-mannered facade that Hutch has adopted to hide the killer lurking underneath.  There's a real sense of contrast here.  There's also some judiciously-used humor, and anyone sick of the quip-laden Marvel movies can relax; there aren't that many of them here. Still, for all of these trapping the movie can't quite shake the fact that it's a John Wick facsimile at heart. 

Fortunately, Odenkirk's performance is honestly what keeps this movie from feeling like an inferior John Wick clone, but the similarities really are a bit too glaring to ignore. Would I see another one? Maybe.

6.5/10

Chop-Sockey Caper: A Review of Bullet Train

 directed by David Leitch

written by Zak Olkewicz (based on Maria Beetle by Kotaro Isaka)

Ever since John Wick launched a new subgenre of action film nearly ten years ago, namely hyper-violent action flicks which are way too violent for children but which are too over-the-top to be taken seriously by adults, there have been quite a few of them which have tried to recapture the John Wick "magic," many of which have conspicuously failed, because they tried to repeat the formula with very little variation: a nearly superhuman killer comes out of retirement/hiding for one reason or another to kick some serious ass.

Bullet Train, which came out in the middle of last year and hit Netflix last December, is a notable exception which I thought to finally review after watching Nobody last night, another hyper-violent movie that only just came out on Netflix (and which I'm reviewing next). Bullet Train, directed by David Leitch, who actually co-directed the first John Wick movie, combines two genres, the hyper-violent action movie and the caper film, to surprisingly good effect.

In this film, hired killer Ladybug (Brad Pitt) has a very simple assignment from his boss Maria Beetle (Sandra Bullock), hop on board the famous shinkansen or the bullet train (hence the title) grab a certain briefcase and get off again.  Unfortunately, his actual mission is nowhere near as simple as he hopes it will be as a wide assortment of killers with different agendas, many of which conflict with his own, all happen to be on the same train at the same time he is, such as brothers Lemon and Tangerine (Brian Tyree Henry and Aaron Tayloy-Johnson), the Wolf (Bad Bunny), the Hornet (Zazie Beetz) the Prince (Joey King), and the worst of them all: the White Death (Michael Shannon).

It's been written that this film is evocative of the Guy Ritchie caper films of the late 90s and early 00s, and to be honest I quite agree. More than just the quippy humor, which pervades throughout the film, mostly courtesy of the banter between Lemon and Tangerine, this film is set apart by its interweaving narratives, with just about all of the characters' fates intertwined.  Sure there's plenty of violence along the way, but the fact that there's an underlying story and that the characters have motivations other than just laying waste to legions of cardboard cutout henchmen keeps the narrative properly engaging. As unlikely as this sounds, it was fun to listen to some of the dialogue of this movie. 

Also, the fact that Brad Pitt's highly-skilled killer isn't on a mission to kill everyone but on a simple snatch-and-grab errand that goes horribly awry makes him more sympathetic as a character. They couldn't well kill his dog at the beginning of the movie so at least this movie makes him quite distinct from the OTHER guy kicking ass well into his 50s.  It's also really funny to watch how almost everyone else's plans in the movie unravel as the titular bullet train hurtles on. 

It's not high art, of course.  It's sometimes a little too silly for its own good, and there are some tropes here and there. The storytelling isn't transcendent like it is in, say, Everything, Everywhere All at Once,  which actually managed to deliver a discourse on existentialism wrapped up in a martial arts movie, but Leitch and crew deserve credit for trying something a little different.

7.5/10